A Pet Peeve

I'm feeling bugged at the moment by a few comments that someone recently made to me, and I feel it is high time to share my #1 parenting-related pet peeve: People who constantly compare kids! I'm sure I have been guilty of this once or twice, but it's become one of those things that other people do and it really gets on my nerves. (And no, it's not anyone who reads this blog... So don't think that it's you!)

It all starts with the "Is Nikos doing (x, y, z) yet?" comments. The questions are usually harmless conversation starters, but they quickly lead to comparisons. For example, walking. Nikos is just now taking his first steps at 14 months. As I've mentioned before, Gus didn't walk until 15 months-- and he is certainly no dummy. But for months and months now, I have been barraged with "Is he walking yet?" only to be followed with something like, "Oh, I just thought he'd be walking by now, my kid walked at 6 months-- he's always been such a quick learner" or something crazy like that. It drives me insane! My son will walk when he's ready, and just because he is doing it later than some is not a sign that he is mentally slower than they are. Sheesh! Frankly, if you look at the world from Nikos' perspective, what incentive does he really have to walk, anyway? He is surrounded by people who love him and want to carry him everywhere. Plus, he's a very efficient little crawling machine. Why mess with a good thing, you know?

The thing that really set me off recently, though, was a comment that an acquaintance made to me. Without going into too much detail, she basically said that her daughter (same age as Nikos) was so curious and inquisitive and into breaking everything at their house-- and she implied that Nikos was sort of a wimp for not being that way. Gotta love those gender stereotypes. Nikos is definitely a curious, but gentle, kid. This is the little boy who very carefully inspected every ornament on our Christmas tree-- and only broke one (a complete accident-- he bumped it out of my hand as I was putting it back on the tree after Charlie messed it up). This same kid will very gently pet Charlie as he sleeps on the couch. I think he is a wonderfully sweet little boy, and I'm glad he's not as wild as some other kids. But to insinuate that he's a wimp, just because he's different from your own kid? Nice.

I guess it just boils down to the fact that yes, every child really is different. And there is such a huge range of "normal" for all those developmental milestones, that it doesn't even make sense to compare (or to draw conclusions from those comparisons). It is such a wasted effort, and just makes people upset/worried. I think everyone should just focus on loving and nurturing their own kids, instead of looking around at what everyone else is doing, you know?

Vent over.