After trying to get pregnant for over seven months, I finally saw two lines on a pregnancy test! If you've ever been in my shoes, you know how much it sucks to get just one line. You stare and you stare at the test, wanting to see just a glimmer of hope, a hint of a second line, but the sad truth is that there is nothing there but whiteness.
Anyhow, there was no reason to really be optimistic this month. We were taking a break from the baby-making business, just taking things easy and and not stressing out. I had actually shelled out $150 for a ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor, which I planned on using
next month. I had been charting my cycles for the past year, so I knew that our timing was good, but that didn't mean much (we'd had good timing plenty of times before, with no success). I also knew that my "monthly friend" was due for a visit on Sunday, February 11th. But... nothing happened. I started to get excited, but didn't want to get my hopes up after doing that one too many times.
Gus and I spent the afternoon at the San Diego Zoo with our renter (and friend/Gus' coworker), Florian, slogging through puddles and getting soaked by the periodic downpours. Despite the wetness, it was a
great day to be at the zoo. It wasn't nearly as crowded as it usually is, and the animals were a lot more active in the colder weather. We had a lot of fun, and it helped me keep my mind off of what was going on with my body (though I did run to the bathroom a few times "just to check on things").
I had made up my mind to take a pregnancy test first thing in the morning, but I didn't want to tell Gus about it. For one, I didn't want to get his hopes up, either. We've both been through that too many times. Second, I knew I wanted to do something special to surprise him with the news (if there
was news!). When Gus' alarm went off at 5:15am yesterday, I was instantly awake. So was my bladder, and I knew I needed to get up and go to the bathroom or risk exploding! So I stumbled into the bathroom, found my little plastic "collection cup" (yes, I've taken these tests a few times before!), and collected the test sample. Ok, fine, enough euphemisms-- I peed in the cup. And you will be pleased to know that I did not make a mess, despite the fact that it was almost pitch-black in there.
I wanted to wait until Gus was in the shower to take the test, so I set the cup in a safe place and got back into bed. Gus never even knew I had gotten up... he usually hits the snooze button two or three times before reaching consciousness. Once he got up, I quickly found one of my million tests and followed the directions. I needed to wait 5 minutes for the results, so I set the test on my nightstand, turned off the light, and stared at my alarm clock until it read 5:57. I prepared myself to be disappointed. I even told myself that the test was a cheap one and might not be valid (I got it at Dollar Tree for a buck... believe it or not, they are highly recommended!). But when I finally turned the light back on and gave my eyes a chance to focus, this is what I saw:
Two lines!! Even though the second line was faint, it was definitely there. I couldn't believe it... Pregnant! Finally! I sat in bed and sobbed like an idiot for a few minutes, but then pulled myself together. I was shaking so hard, I thought for sure that Gus would figure me out and ruin my chance to surprise him later. I got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and checked my email, just like any other day. Once Gus and Florian left for work, I told Charlie and Corky (our pets) that they were going to have a little brother or sister. I had to tell someone! At school, I was totally distracted. Luckily, my principal chose a good time to come in and observe me (part of my annual evaluation). The rest of the day, my mind was a million miles away.
When the bell rang, I hightailed it out of there and headed to CVS, where I bought a pack of digital pregnancy tests, a valentine card, and some wrapping paper. Back at home, I put together a present for Gus: a book (
Pregnancy Sucks for Men), an "I Love My Daddy" bib, a valentine card "to daddy from child," and one of the digital tests. I wrapped it all up, and called Gus at work to tell him that I'd gone to buy his Valentine's Day present after school. I told him I was really excited, and thought he should open it right away (this is not unusual for me... I always end up making him open presents early, because I can't wait!).
When he walked in the door, I made him open the present right away. I think he thought it was a Nintendo Wii, and was slightly disappointed when he saw that the box was too small. He was confused when he saw that the box was actually a Bandolino shoe box. And he was SHOCKED when he saw what was inside! His reaction was great, though... A big smile and a "REALLY????" I started crying again (I've done that a lot lately!), and we hugged and hugged and said a lot of things like "Whoa, we're having a baby." You know, things that people say when they realize their lives are going to change in a major way.
Anyway... That brings us to today! I'm still pregnant! :) I've already scheduled my first two prenatal doctor appointments, and I'm reading
What to Expect When You're Expecting. Our baby is just over 4 weeks old, and is about 2 millimeters big! It's so weird to think that, on or around October 22nd, there will be a baby in our house! We're going to be parents!! :) :) :) :) :)
