The Perils of Gift Wrap

Warning: This has nothing to do with pregnancy, and everything to do with my cat's butt. If you are squeamish, run away while you can!

So today I get home from work, and Charlie isn't there to greet me at the door like he usually is. That sometimes happens, usually when he's been taking a nap. In those cases, he is usually sitting at the other end of the hallway, blinking and yawning at me (he is so cute!). But today, no. I discovered him hunkering down by the kitchen window, right in front of our sink. As soon as he turned his little head toward me and gave a very disturbing meow, I knew something was very wrong-- I just didn't know what! I called his name. He took about two steps toward me before suddenly bolting off across the countertops and over by our microwave, where he hunkered down again. As he ran, I noticed something was dangling from his rear end... I grabbed a wad of paper towels, held him down, and grabbed hold of the mystery dingleberry. And guess what? I pulled out a piece of poo attached to a seven-inch-long piece of ribbon. Green ribbon. The kind you curl with scissors to decorate presents. Like baby shower presents. Anyway, Charlie has always loved to play with ribbons, but we've never seen him eat any and weren't concerned about that. But apparently, he ate a big piece, and it didn't come out so well.

But wait, it gets better! I got it out, but he was still acting kind of weird about his rear end. I realized that it was still poopy, so I got a baby wipe and cleaned him up (good practice?? haha!). At that point, he was a happy camper, and he finally climbed down and went to eat and drink from his dishes. That's when I saw the carpet under the dining table... Crisscrossed with "skid marks" from where he obviously tried to scrape off his unwelcome attachment. EWWWW!!!!!!! I got down on my hands and knees to clean it up as best I could (and it LOOKS totally clean now), but Gus is going to buy detergent for our steam cleaner on his way home from work. So gross. And of course, the fact that his poopy butt was all over the countertops wasn't exactly comforting, either (don't worry, I cleaned them up REALLY well and disinfected everything). Honestly, though, my main reaction is: Poor kitty!!! He is no longer allowed to play with ribbon unsupervised. The end.